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(items posted 10/15/22 noon - more still to come)

From Diane Arnold and Dean Goodermote

Mary was a big part of our ladies neighborhood group…there was a large group of us all about the same age with kids the same age, as well. We would get together for dinners or simply meet on the street to talk about that days events…Mary was always upbeat and a delight to be around…I can hear her belly laugh and will cherish our friendship always. I have incredibly fond memories of our 20 years in our Wayland Center neighborhood, which the entire Henderson clan was a huge part of…I remember when Matt was heading out to “serve our country”-and we had a wonderful neighborhood gathering at our place to send him off with lots of encouragement and good wishes.

Willa was younger than my youngest son-so other than a wave and a smile-I never got to know her as well as I did Matt. I think of Mary and Willa and, of course, Wayne and Matt frequently. It gives me comfort to know that Wayne and Matt have had so so many friends and family to lean on.

From Marjo Talbott and Mark Vershbow

Mark and I met Mary and Wayne in 1980 at the Wellesley home of our dear friends, Michael and Diane Spence. They were one of those couples you immediately wanted to be besties with - not just because they knew how to cook and serve superb red wine. Here is a photo from that first year of friendship and one when they were visiting us in Port Clyde, Maine in July 2021. Mary was always photogenic although often her eyes were closed.

Mary was an essential part of what we termed the Sunday Club - four couples (the Beldings, Hendersons, Spences, Talbott/Vershbows) who got together regularly when we all lived in Boston and annually spent New Years together. Mary was the spark plug who got us organized and cooked many of our most special meals; took us on shopping sprees; picked the best movie; introduced us to Bocce; and kept us on the move. Her effervescent presence made you smile and want to be with her on whatever adventure she was concocting. We knew that she would deliver the most scrumptious dinner - her veal chops for New Year's Eve this past year were, as usual, a huge hit

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Wayne and Mary were the godparents of our daughter, Kelley, who was just a tad older than Willa. When Willa arrived to join her big brother, Matt, we knew she would be a big personality. She loved fiercely and was always able to hold her own on the playground and in any conversation. My girls loved seeing her in the summer of 2021 at Wayne and Mary's home - they all shared a passion for taking care of children and in making the world a better place.

From Roy & Linda Parfitt

We only met Wayne & Mary once while they visited his brother and his wife, Kip & Kay Henderson, in Arizona, but wanted to convey our heartfelt condolences relative to this unimaginable tragedy.

From Bob Schaffel

From the first day I met Mary, my initial and everlasting impression of her was how her smile lit up the whole room – not once, but every time. Being around her positive energy was always a reminder to me to touch the same place inside myself, no matter what else might be going on. I still carry Mary's smile in my recollections – so lucky to have known her.

From Susan Gershenfeld

It’s so easy to recall the first time Mary and I met in 1996. It was Matt’s first year at CHS and he came over for a playdate. Within minutes, we shared various things in common – our boys had the same birthdate, we had the same wedding anniversary date, we both had been first-generation college students and later earned our MBAs, and our parents had homes within a block from each other in Vero Beach. As with our kids, we, too, became instant friends. Over the years, there were countless potluck dinner gathering with our other CHS family friends, lovely walks with meaningful conversations, and shared adventures, like the time Willa and Aaron were supposed to take ski lessons but had other ideas. When we moved to East-Central Illinois for a period of time, you were the one East Coast friend who visited. While there are daily reminders of you, a few things that I attribute learning from you include chewing 15 times before taking another bite, doing things in groups, exceeding expectations, and using the All Trails app. We never did get to play pickle ball. We never did get to spend an extended period of time together in Vero. But, I will always cherish the time we had together and remember your energy, laugh, and joyful spirit. You are deeply missed and will be in my heart forever.

From Arthur Bowen

Mary:  I met Mary through Wayne, when he and I practiced law in the same firm, now more than 40 years ago. Mary was then and always remained Mary: an effervescence of sunshine, ever positive and adventurous, ever engaged, with good and knowledgeable opinions on most any topic, ever a hostess who not only made guests feel welcome, but also-of course!-prepared the most scrumptious meals; her desserts defined ‘ambrosia.’ What I will always remember most, however, is how genuine she was: always warm and welcoming, unpretentious, ingenuous, effervescent (the sail to Wayne’s ballast on their ship upon the sea), modest (in an extrovert’s way!), cheerful and kind; such praises could proceed endlessly... I always looked forward with the greatest pleasure to seeing Mary. I will always miss her as much.

Willa:  Wayne and I often talked at work day lunches about Willa’s pending arrival, so I knew her before she was even Willa. I cannot now recall if I was a titled godfather, but Willa always called me “Uncle Arfa,” which brought me much pleasure. She and I got along well, always found something to chat about. She never complained; she loved her cats. Willa had some difficult times, and Wayne and Mary were endless in their devotion to her. Then, just as she seemed to emerge from that dark place, she was gone. But I cherished being Uncle Arfa, and will carry that memory of her with me.

From Betsy Hazen

I met Mary in 1981 at the start of our 1-year MBA program at Simmons in Boston….we used all the Harvard boys’ case studies at Simmons, but we graduated in half the time….

Mary was as bright and energetic and tenacious, as they come….she and I joined a cohort of 6 women as a kind of study group, in which we totally bonded, because how could anyone get through 8 courses a semester without relying on comrades…?

After our 1982 graduation, life took over….I married and moved out of the Boston area for awhile….Mary and I saw each other at a couple of Simmons MBA reunions over the years, and had some opportunities to share mothering experiences/challenges during these brief encounters….the mutual respect and caring were always present…Regrettably, I haven’t seen Wayne for decades….in the ‘80’s? Wayne and I bonded over the fact that I dated a Whiffenpoof at Yale for 7 years!

Looking forward to celebrating Mary’s life with the gift of my voice at the Wayland UU this Saturday….music has always helped me navigate the impossible, and I know Mary (and Willa) will be with me.

From Joyce Mannis

Jed and I were good pals with Mary and Wayne in the 80s because Jed and Wayne played on the same fast-pitch softball team. We rented one of their duplex units for a couple of years while our new house in Brookline was being renovated.  They lived in the other unit (with their wonderful dog Hannibal) and our friendship blossomed in the interweaving of softball, neighborly exchanges, shared interests in music, etc.

Getting to know Mary better was special fun. She was getting her MBA at that time in Simmons College’s demanding program for women, and she was constantly on the go, back and forth from home to class to study group to home again to grab a sandwich and head back to class. Her energy and stamina were so impressive! And yet she also was super-convivial and helpful and jolly!

A few years later after we moved to Brookline we started holding what became an annual potluck Christmas party. As fun as it was for 33 years the frivolity and heating up peoples’ dishes could drive me batty. Mary simply began to take it upon herself to manage the kitchen for me, always jolly, and pretty soon we were also collaborating on the planning. A few years ago when Jed died she did the same thing and took it upon herself to manage the after-service reception for me. Such unassuming generosity is rare in life. Mary was rare in many ways. I miss her and all that she added to my life.

From Joan & Art Irvine

It is still hard to believe that we will not see Mary arriving back in Florida for the winter. This vibrant person in our Grand Harbor community, so well loved and connected with us in so many ways, will be missed terribly. Her warm personality, infectious smile and innate intelligence was obvious to all as she joined into the Book Club, golf and community volunteering. Hers was a life well-lived and tragically cut short. We will keep her memory in our hearts.

From Rick Belding

In our lives, many of us have been fortunate to meet people through connections with other friends. We met Mary and Wayne in the early 1980s when we moved to Boston, and I joined the staff at the National Association of Independent Schools. Marjo Talbott was working there. Michael Spence was a member of an NAIS committee to which I was the liaison. For much of the next 35 years, our families shared New Years Eve together. Mary and Wayne were friends of the Spences, Diane and Michael, and Marjo and husband Mark Vershbow.

Mary was a remarkable woman. What follows are a few vignettes of memories of her that I treasure:

- One summer afternoon in Maine, Mary played nine holes of seemingly perfect golf - she hit it straight, chipped and pitched nearly perfectly, and sank four foot putts as if they were gimmes!:

- Her love of travel.(probably at 78rpm which 33 1/3 Wayne must also have loved). Vicariously via email, I followed the itinerary of their last trip through western Europe:

- An almost accidental meeting with her when the Whiffenpoofs came to Chicago for a reunion performance at a church on Michigan Ave. It was such a pleasure to sit with her and hear the Whiffs for the first time:

- Her seemingly infinite positivity was exemplified when she and Wayne arrived at our house in Tucson for New Years after three days traveling from Boston to Tucson, regaling us with the adventures they had, including lunch on the ocean in San Diego. By the second day, I would have gone home:

- Her love for Matt and Willa. It was so good to read that Willa had found a better, happier place near the end of her life. The tragic accident that took her and Mary's lives seems more senseless every day:

- Her passion for good food and wine. Since their last trip to Europe, Mary has advocated that the Sunday Club gather in Illhaeusern, France at The Auberge de l'ill, one of the finest restaurants in the world:

I've thought of the Hendersons most every day since May 22. There are many more memories. I so much appreciate having had the privilege of knowing Mary.and the Hendersons

This is my favorite picture of Mary, taken by Lucy at our cottage in Maine

 

From Kenneth Parsigian

Willa:  One of the first (of so very many times) you came over, we started the gag that you were my friend, not Zoe’s. It became such a part of our schtick that it was part of your name, “My friend Willa” came over. But, of course, you know it wasn’t just schtick. You were always my friend, through our ten years of doing the Walk for Hunger together, Halloweens, rain or shine, and Christmas Eve Eve parties, and beyond, I always thought of you as much as my friend as Zoe’s. I miss you terribly and think of you every day when I kiss wood at 1:11, 2:22, 3:33, 4:44, and 5:55.

Mary:  So many of the wonderful times our families shared revolved around food. We shared recipes, cooked meals together, talked restaurants and wine, and, of course, ate and drank with elan. But for all the fancy cooking and multi-course meals that we shared, what I will always miss the most is how heartily you embraced the simplest gustatory joys. I am picturing you right now on the floor of our living room on Halloween. All the kids are trading candy and there you are, hungrily scooping up all the Oh Henrys, which they couldn’t possibly love as much as you, and wolfing down a few on the spot. I am smiling so broadly at the memory.

From Katie Yao

Susan Gershenfeld forwarded me an email you sent out with Mary and Willa's life stories, and I am so grateful to have read such touching stories about their lives. Although I did not know Willa, I knew Mary when we were matched through Susan's mentorship program. Mary was a great mentor, who was supportive of my decisions as I navigated college as a FGLI student. I will miss her guidance very much, considering how often she was available to talk, edit my essays (along with Wayne), and impart her wisdom from her corporate/dental experiences. The last time we talked was through email, right before her trip to California, and we set up a time to check in. Regrettably, I will not be able to take her out to dinner after this law school application cycle as I had promised to do so, nor will have further conversations about navigating life. However, I would like to thank Mary for being an amazing mentor the past few years. Thank you so much, Mary.

(items posted 10/13/22 6 PM)

From Christy Lyons Chambers

I met Mary in ninth grade. We went through high school together and got to see her up in Boston while she was going to school. My best friend Debbie was also a real good friend of Mary‘s. When college was finished, I moved from New Jersey to Boston. The three of us hung out many times. I remember one time Mary said we were going to Tar beach. I truly thought we were going to a beach. As we walked up the stairs of Mary’s apartment building little did I know that tar beach meant the roof!!!! We laid out in our bikinis frying like eggs. Another time Mary talked Deb and I into taking an adult Ed course at Northeastern. It was about opera!! Mary loved it. Deb and I learned a few things along the way. In 2018 we had our 50th high school reunion. The 3 of us were together again as roomies!! It was a great weekend and would be the last time I got to spend a weekend with our Mar. I can still hear her laugh.

A picture of Mary, Debbie and I.

Love you Mary ♥

From Emily Lebowitz

The American novelist S. E. Hinton once said, “If you have two friends in your lifetime, you're lucky. If you have one good friend, you're more than lucky.” I would consider myself more than lucky, I had the privilege and honor of calling willa my best friend for the last twelve years.

For willa, friendship meant fierce loyalty, regardless of what she was going through. To her, It didn’t matter if I was snowed in & couldn’t shovel out in time for work, if I needed someone to be with me at an appointment, if I had some random idea, or if I was on my couch bored. It was all valid. All I had to do was text her, and the response was alway the same “okay, im getting ready.”

Somehow, when I got into aerial arts, I convinced willa to join me. She wasn’t as enthusiastic as I was, but she kept her commitment, and attended the entire session. We spent a lot of time finding new experiences, either to one or both of us. We went to concerts, storyslams, comedy shows, took day trips, and even a few vacations. As fun as all of those things were, we could find just as much fun in our almost weekly target trips, finding new creative outlets, or watching a movie.

Although she was up against various chronic conditions that caused her tons of pain daily, Willa refused to let it control her life. She found moments of levity during immense stress & pain, including filming tiktok videos while waiting for a procedure. The medical staff wasn’t thrilled, but they let us finish it before she went up. I think it’s actually my favorite of the many she convinced me to make.

Our friendship was unique compared to typical adult friendships, we spoke daily, saw each other multiple times a week. We sent each other videos instead of texts, and there were many nights where we left FaceTime on and moved through our various routines, sometimes speaking, sometimes not. She brought out the best in me, and together, it felt like anything was possible. I will forever feel lucky that she was my person & will miss her fiercely with every piece of me.

Whenever we were going to be apart for a while, we had a special way we said goodbye. Willa, forever & always, to the moon & back, I love you.

<3 emily

From Dorothy Breault

I met Mary in September of 1968. Both of us recent high school graduates, about to embark on our new adventure college at Forsyth school for Dental Hygiene with additional classes at Northeastern University. We met at Stetson Hall, a new housing facility and Mary was my roommate. In life, sometimes you meet someone who you feel like you've known forever and Mary and I became friends instantly.

We were both serious students but classes for Mary always seemed a bit easier than myself. She was a smart lady but we also had a lot of fun. While there, we met Daryl and Norine (affectionately called Spot) and the four of us sailed through our time together honing our skills as potential Hygienists and becoming an inseparable foursome.

As graduation got closer we all had different visions of what we'd be doing next . We spent our first year altogether in Boston on Aberdeen St. all working in Hygiene and wondering if this was a life profession? For Mary, she had an itch almost immediately that she wanted more. For me I was going to marry my high school sweetheart and move out of Boston. We all began to go in different directions. Having said that, we never lost touch with each other. It's now over fifty years I've known Mary, Daryl and Spot.

The bond I had with Mary at Forsyth is one that never wavered. Though our lives were very different we never forgot each other. Mary met Wayne, the love of her life, they married, and tried to have children.  With no success, adoption became a possibility. I'll never forget the day she called to tell me she and Wayne had been chosen and would be getting a baby boy by the weekend.  Mary was so happy yet terrified and scrambling for all she needed. That was a special day for Mary and 2 years later she got the same call and Willa entered their life.

Mary and Wayne were a power couple.  Life with kids, a husband, and work is never an easy task and they were no exception. We often had long conversations that started as just a hello and ended up an hour later giggling and laughing about something. We all know Mary was a fast talker and some things never change.

I can still hear her voice and I miss that already. I won't hear her voice on my birthday which we always did or a card or text just to let each other know we were thinking of the other.  I'll miss her great recipes, her organizing a get together for us (Chip, my husband and I) or for the four roommates. Mary was a bundle of energy and that never stopped. She was a giver, a helper, and a fixer. She was truly one of those friends that you only have a couple of in your lifetime and she left us with her daughter in tow like any good mother would.

I miss you Mary I love you Mary. May God take care of Wayne and Matt and Tanja

From Nancy and Peter Morrell

Peter and I are heartbroken for you, Wayne, Matt and Tanja, and will keep you in our thoughts and hearts as you try to find a spot of relative peace. I can see Mary’s smiling face every single day, feel her enthusiasm, endless energy, kindness, generosity, empathy, and I will sorely miss working through our golf adventures together! We all struggle with you, and are here to help in any way we can….

Always…Nancy & Peter

From Michelle Howard

Mary made me laugh - a LOT! Although I didn't know Mary for long we became fast friends on the golf course and dear friends off the course, discovering that we shared many similar interests. I enjoyed her energetic spirit and spontaneity like the time we decided to go to an evening concert two hours after we had just attended a separate afternoon concert! We cracked up at how our minds jumped from one thing to another without pause and could talk and talk forever never having enough time to finish all we wanted to share. Mary, you were "one of a kind" and touched an essential part of my soul. I miss you, Mary!

 

 
Wayne, Mary, Michelle, Michael

From Tomoko and Bob Graham

Dear Henderson family,

First to Mary, your departure was so sudden and we are sorry that we did not have many more opportunities to enjoy our friendship. We wish we could walk in botanical gardens with you while marveling at natural beauty.

Next to Willa, knowing Mary and Wayne, we are certain that your life was hard but filled with their love. However short, your life touched many people's hearts and will be remembered for a long time.

To Matt, our memories are still fresh watching you grow and have fun with Peter and other CHS friends. Please know that they are for you and that we are always part of that community.

And to Wayne, we feel deep sorrow about your loss. Your family has been in our special place in our hearts. Let us dedicate a song to you: "Hana wa Saku" (Flowers will Bloom), the first in original Japanese, and the second in multilinguals with translation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kD7OfTdOEpk
https://www3.nhk.or.jp/nhkworld/en/ondemand/video/9999904/

From Debbie Manley Krikorian

I loved Mary. Having met Mary when I was five in Kindergarten, she was a life-long friend. We lived around the corner from each other in Westwood, NJ, and spent our entire childhood in schools together. We shared a lot of wonderful experiences which are very fond memories. To name a few, we took our first plane ride together to Boston to check out colleges. After college, we went backpacking to Europe on a six-week vacation. From that time on, we enjoyed a passion for travel and for food! Being foodies, we used to discuss and share recipes. We went to our 50th high school reunion together. Even if we were apart for some time, when we talked, it was like we just saw each other the day before. Mary was such a fun-loving, upbeat person, and a joy to be around. I so enjoyed our conversations and times together throughout the years. She was a special person, and I will miss her very much.

From Richard & Viola Morse - Neighbors & Friends at Maple Meadows

In Our Hearts:

The disappearance of Mary and Willa was a traumatic experience for us and surely for all who were safely out of harm’s way on their last day. As the news reached us, we were traumatized with disbelief. Feelings since then have moved through anger, deep loss, shared feelings with others, and eventually a hesitant acceptance, filled with love that can no longer be shared with Mary and Willa. Today, four plus months later, tree leaves around us are becoming brilliant shades of green, yellow, red, orange, and brown as they enter the end of their lives. Oh, why can’t humans become beautifully decorated, signaling love and thanks, as they approach the end of their lives? They can! And Mary and Willa did. We all experienced the colorful, brilliant, and extraordinary moments in their lives and in their relationships with us. In fact, they both lived their lives with an unending crescendo of energy that brought increasing light, love, knowledge, discoveries, fun, laughs and gifts to the people around them. They consistently became more and more beautifully decorated with love and thanks for each of us. We warmly recall those moments and deep experiences. While they have left us, like the fall leaves will do, their beauty, their brilliance and joy will forever reside in our hearts as their final gifts to us. May God feel blessed with their presence.

From Susan Lawler

I had the good fortune to meet Mary through her roommate and my now sister-in-law Spot back in the 70’s. All these decades of knowing Mary and Wayne have been testimonies to enduring friendship and the importance of shared stories. Mary always lit up a room with her laughter and sense of adventure whether that be travel, new recipes, connecting people to one another or simply learning something new. It was easy to see that Wayne, Matthew and Willa centered her world and I will forever be grateful for experiencing her grace, wit and kindness. Mary leaves her family and friends so much stronger by her time with us. My heart goes out to Wayne, Matthew, Tanja and the extended Henderson family on her passing.

Remembering Mary and Willa from Bob and Beth Smith

We met Wayne in Chicago in 1969 and became roommates for two years during law school and very dear friends. After graduation, Wayne moved to Boston while we remained in Chicago. So when we heard that someone named Mary was in his life, we were eager to meet her, which we were able to do after moving to Newton in 1975. Our very first memory of Mary is really no different from our last....Mary was warm, welcoming and full of energy. Even as we have grown older together, Mary never lost that exuberance she had from day one - she kept us young!

When we remember Mary, we also think of how entrepreneurial she was, which showed in so many ways - her educational achievements, her career, and the multiple ways she helped various charitable organizations. Mary also was a very devoted Mom, and we both will always remember the very first days of both Matthew and Willa entering Wayne and Mary's life. While Mary did confront different challenges in her own family and as a Mom, she was able to share them and gain perspective on them.

Mary also was the consummate organizer and networker! And we all know how much she loved great food and trying out any new restaurant in town. We benefited from this so many times, as she planned our annual anniversary dinners – we almost always got together with Mary and Wayne around our shared wedding date of September 5th. For us, this will be when we will especially miss Mary, but we hope to use this time in the future as one way to continue to remember her – her wonderful laugh, her enthusiasm, her curiosity, her always wanting some of what Wayne ordered! - and to always hold her dear.

While we remember well the day Mary and Wayne were called to bring home their new baby girl, we are sad that we did not get to interact with Willa over the years, especially after the family left Newton. And as, by chance, one of our own granddaughters is named Willa, we felt a connection to Wayne and Mary's Willa. We remember Willa as a bright and energetic child, and we were well aware of the challenges she faced as she grew older, along with her successes. We especially admired Willa's special talent for relating to children and the joy she found in caring for them. We also were excited that Willa had found her biological father and the joy and added stability that that brought to her life. Both Wayne and Mary were there for Willa, in their different ways, but they were always there, and we admire and thank them for that. That Willa lost her life during a more hopeful time for her is especially heart-breaking, but we will remember always what we learned from hers and the importance of understanding and caring for all young people, no matter what their struggles.

   

From Mary Tavares Sutula

Here is a photo from Willa's high school years - she was at a celebration at our house - possibly a birthday party - possibly around 2007 or 2008.